Well it’s
time to let loose on the blank activity of the blank chick. I must state again,
blank chicks come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. I really want to help you
out and sometimes it can be frustrating try to help a blank chick – such is the
plight of a real woman!
Everyone
knows a blank chick, you may have a few family members or friends that are
always going through something and seem either clueless to the role their play
in the blank decision making or activities or they are so damn clouded mentally
they really can’t see how blank they truly are – refer them to me. It is time
to eradicate the blank chick, you can find them any and everywhere and it is
time for woman of the world to unite and either draft them into womanhood on a
probationary period until they prove themselves worthy of carrying the title, “Grown
woman,” or push them all into a corner and keep them on a short leash making
sure to check their blank movements.
Alice is
a really sweet person; she would give you the shirt off her back and the wind
from underneath her wings if you asked her too. But Alice was often used by men
and women because she has such a humble, trusting and giving spirit. I have
seen, personally, someone mistreat Alice and she was simply “blank” to the fact
she had just been played. I’ve stood up for her on more than one occasion because
I feel that she is one “blank chick” worth saving, worth putting some real
effort and energy into helping her help herself.
Recently,
Alice asked me how to deal with a situation involving her sister. The sisters
are not really close, Alice is a very beautiful young woman and her sister (while
equally as beautiful) is not neither humble nor giving. She is a typical
gold-digger, only out for herself and what she can get from anybody she can
charm or trick into meeting some superficial need or want she may have at the
moment. She is very tenacious in nature and is not going to give up until she
gets what she wants no matter who she hurts in the process. She told Alice she
needed to borrow some money from her to pay a few bills she had gotten behind
on because of the holidays. Alice (a hard-worker at a remedial job not paying
much money) felt compelled to help her sister and gave her not only her last
monies allowed in her budget to take care of herself until her next paycheck but
dipped into her savings, which was not much, just to ensure her sister was
going to be alright. Of course, her sister said she would pay her back at the
beginning of the year but we all know that didn’t happen. Now, if you don’t
have the money to pay someone back for whatever reason providing them with an
explanation and requesting more time to pay them back can often be negotiated
in the best interest of both individuals – you can work this type of situation
out civilly and with relative ease. Alice the Sweet’s sister not only didn’t
pay her back, won’t return her phone calls or emails but the heffa had the nerve
to tell Alice the money was a gift not a loan and stop asking for something
that she was never going to give back to her. I offered to make a “personal
visit” to her sister on her behalf but Alice said no and I thought about it; I
cannot defend Alice every time someone takes advantage of her. I am doing her a
disservice by taking on her issue and making it my own instead of directing her
to stand up for herself and give her a good piece of advice in the process.
I told
Alice, you are right I should not go and speak with your sister but you should.
You have to speak up for yourself Alice and demand the respect you deserve in
this particular situation and I hope that your sister will do right by you but
if she doesn’t you’ve learned an important and expensive lesson. She asked what
exactly did I mean and I told her, “People will do only what you allow them to
do to you. If you never stand up for yourself you will continue to be the world’s
doormat and you will never be respected and always mistreated because you don’t
value yourself no one else will. Also, never give anyone anything that you are
not willing to lose. If you give them advice don’t expect advice back, if you
give them money only give what you wouldn’t miss but remember money, friends
and family do not mix well. If you help someone don’t expect for them to help you
only give what you can of yourself but not all of yourself.” She smiled at me and
wiped away a tear. I asked her why she was crying and she told me I sound like
her mom. She has always told her some very similar advice and I said, “Alice,
when more than one person tells you the same thing you better take a step back
and listen. Something about you is drawing people that may not even know each
other to have the same conclusion about you.”
The Mix:
You can’t
save every blank chick but there are some worth saving and Alice is one of
them. You should want to help someone that is seemingly defenseless against
being “blank” if they are in the realm of being a “blank chick” only because
they are just a good-hearted, good intention type of individual. I know this
story is mild but if you have been following I wanted to ease you into the mix…..but
the grit will come. Remember what I said to Alice, “only give away what you
willing not to receive back,” I challenge you to do this with one person or one
situation in your life and see the outcome will be.
Remember
darlings…..you don’t have to be a blank chick all your life! Keep it In the Mix
with Ms. Nix.
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