Break It Up!
It’s getting hot in the bedroom, in the kitchen, in
the car, and out on the street…Because
you’re fighting too much! In the post-Valentine season and right before
its time to break out the new cute sandals and shorts, some are breaking out of
relationships and sleeping in cold aggravating tears. Something arises in men
and women that make them crave something new with the warmer seasons
approaching and excuses for escape are fought harder than finding solutions.
Why do we do this when love is so much easier? Now let’s not fight for
something not worth fighting for such as: unceasing infidelity, abuse, laziness,
hidden relationships…you get the picture. However there are other things that
we build our anxiety and frustrations over that cause unnecessarily
drama-filled breakups that could have been avoided.
Let’s talk…
Why so
serious? It seems that after
Valentine’s Day the *fun romantic spark* starts to dwindle and before you know it’s
back to the routine of eat, work, sleep, and maybe some romance if it is properly planned. It is wonderful to be a woman on a mission of
success with 3-30 different entrepreneurial ventures running through your
brain, veins, and heart; however there are times when you forget that someone
loves you and they can be viewed as your bothersome accessory that is awaiting
your heart at home. This is not uncommon when people are climbing their way or fighting
to stay at the top. But… THIS IS
BORING & DAMAGING. Since everything else is controlled in your
life, let go of the fear to break away from the restrictive mold and fall in
love with your friend again. Make new discoveries with each other, introduce
new things into your lives, live with the purpose of making a memory and stop
taking your world so seriously and enjoy life. You’ve worked hard for your life
it’s not going anywhere, make time for love before you lose it. Unfortunately,
some still need fulfillment from others, even though they have a love at home.
In these moments it is important to remember to look with your eyes not with your heart. Men will see a woman walking down the
street that make their heads turn and eyes enlarge like an owl and we smack
them and yell at them for ‘cheating with their eyes’. Yet when we are out with
our girlfriends we will get locked in a gaze for every Denzel-Morris-Dwayne
Johnson look-a-like that we talk about for the next hour and tell our men not
to be jealous…come on ladies… The truth is we all have eyes for looking, hands
for touching, and hearts for loving and as long as the hands and hearts remain
at our sides and connected to our partners there is nothing to worry about on
either end. So the next time either of
you spot someone that looks like they were genetically engineered to be perfect
just remember that they may have caught your eye, but your love has captured
your heart. Now if your man is seen just
looking at another woman, don’t allow anyone else to discredit his love for
you.
When
you are going through a change in your relationship always be careful about who
you talk to about your relationship, including family, while remembering that bitter bickering come from bitter women.
Let’s say your man has been going out pretty frequently with his friends to
do ‘manly things’ that leaves you at home alone. Even though he said he will be
home soon, you’re still feeling pretty lonely and decide to call all your
friends just to chat and pass the time. Next thing you know you find yourself
getting up in arms with unrealistic accusations because your only single bitter
friend (who has been sleeping alone all winter because she hates all men but
still wants one) starts implanting her sad tales into your head and making you
question your love. So when your man does get home he is the ‘enemy’ that is
ready to spend time with you. Why allow someone to inject their bitterness into
your life when you have the wherewithal to control your own? Instead of being
fuming mad for no reason redirect your energy into being a completed woman; Go
out with friends, read books you never have time to, watch shows he would
normally complain about, have an at home spa day etc. And if it truly bothers
you that he is spending more time with his friends than you SAY SOMETHING, despite their other
wonderful qualities, men cannot read minds. Always be the initiator for change
in your relationship, do not allow others to control your love.
Speaking of initiating change in love sometimes
with a change of season we need to warm
things up or cool things down in the bedroom. When you are in a
relatively new relationship you are trying every trick in the Kama Sutra book
that you can find and you are grateful to be walking afterwards. Then it
dwindles down to, ‘You ready?’ ‘Yup’ ‘Almost there’ ‘Ah there it is!’ ‘Ok goodnight.’
However some couples are just the opposite where it started off slow then
picked up to the point of an unhealthy obsession. There is no true measure of
where someone should be with their partners sexually it is constantly growing,
changing, and expanding into new experiences of pleasure. If sex has become
such a mundane act that it’s not even pleasurable anymore do not be afraid to
seek the assistance of a Loveologist who will educate you on how to expand your
experience with alternative practices, toys, positions, and the ever cherished
G-spot. Another tip is to always have a spiritual connection with your mate by
looking into their eyes while interchanging positions and orgasm. It enhances
the physical connection in addition to connecting with your mates mind and
feelings that they are having about you or anything else. By doing so
discussions of healing could emerge as well as further bonding. However, if you
are in a hyper-sexed situation and feel that your body literally cannot take
anymore and have the doctor bill to prove it then seek other ways to connect.
During alternative activities reevaluate how your love is shown and how mature
relationship truly is.
We are not perfect and change is always a factor
from weather seasons to life seasons. There is always room for improvement in a
relationship when dealing with communication, trust, and sex. If you find
yourself in any of these situations and feel like it’s over don’t break up, break
it up and make a commitment to change.
About the Author
Carmen Fletcher is a Public Relations Manager and writer that
willingly shares her perspective on life, love, and more through poetry,
testimonies, and inspirational stories. She is a Contributing Writer on www.breathoflifedaily.com and
has contributed to the book Super Singles Activate! Testimonies to Inspire and
Uplift the Single Woman. In addition she is currently working on several books
and orchestrating the Rise Above campaign featured on the fan page of
inspirational book Yes! Confess Success www.facebook.comm/YesConfessSuccess
