I have a few pet peeves but one, in particular, drives me crazy – people who think they are slick. I attempt to surround myself with people who have no shades of gray (people who will tell me the truth no matter how it makes me feel) and I appreciate their direct approach. I may not like what you are saying but I respect your ability to tell me the truth. What I don’t like is someone who claims, “I’m real; I keep it 100%,” yet when you get right down to it he/she is the first person to take the indirect path on handling situations that may arise, especially, when conflicts arise.
I’ve never been the type of person to believe what other people say and if someone states he/she has a “problem” with me I would much rather go directly to the source and deal with whatever issue he/she may have with me. I do not like third-party conversations, I don’t need a hype man or woman to pump me up just to speak with you and I am not going to address you in a manner that would be deemed disrespectful or inconsiderate of the circumstances. I have learned along my journey most often miscommunication is the root of a lot of issues that exist between women or someone has lied because they have assumed something (this will usually include a third-party playing both sides of the fence) or some type of jealousy, envy or intimidation factor exists – which is really a clear sign of an immature mind and lack of self-control, self-worth and low self-esteem.
I am a woman first and if I have an issue with another woman I firmly believe I need to handle my feelings about the situation with that particular woman (period). Yet, I have found some women claim to be direct and upstanding are just real “blank!” Even as a teenager, those who know me know I have never had a problem confronting someone; however, I am the first to admit I did not handle situations, in my youth, with tack and pose. I was a hot-head and often irrational and hostile. But I am not a teenager anymore and I understand everyone deserves a certain amount of respect and I elect to provide you respect while attempting to resolve tense situations.
In one instance, I approached a situation with another female and simply asked her what problem, if any, she had with me. It seemed when we were in the same places, I would get the snide looks and comments and we had never had a conversation with one another. Now, I could have been ratchet and came off real “ghetto” but I don’t have anything to prove to anyone so all that street, hood behavior was not necessary – I am not 20 years old and I’ve had my grown woman sway for a minute now, acting other than myself, the woman I am is so beneath me and I refuse to allow anyone and anything take me there. Now, when the “young lady” decided to use a third-party to communicate with me a response I was shocked but not surprised and I learned that the direct approach would not be the way she would handle this situation. But what made me do a double-take is the slick stuff - side comments and remarks made afterwards. Taking the “slick” approach shows a lot about a person’s character and this is someone who cannot be trusted. When an individual is not willing to deal with you directly, you should know they are more than likely going to always come at you from the side and rarely head on – keep your third-eye open and move carefully around this type of person.
You know the truth about yourself and if you are unable to be direct and upfront it is okay that is absolutely your prerogative; however, don’t pretend to be someone you know deep down inside you are not. There is a huge difference between picking and choosing a battle or attempting to be nickel slick. Nickel slick people eventually run everyone and everything away from them even those who truly may care about you. Being nickel slick only raises suspicion on just who you really are…your integrity becomes questionable and so does your motives behind your actions!
Until the next time, add this ingredient to the bowl of decisions for your life and stay In the Mix with Ms. Nix!