Talk to Me!!!!
Sometimes when there is a breakdown in communication in relationships you will often find ideas and thinking that would never make themselves present and become the forefront of troubles that were brewing underneath the surface. When mates are not up front and honest with one another, eventually the little things that never mattered before become the very reasons why arguments begin. Remember the little trivial things are not the real reason why you argue – it is the deeper issues that were never addressed or never discussed at the root of the problem.
One thing I’ve learned from my past relationships is the importance of communication and being honest about your feelings. Forget about all the bad advice and cliché’s you may have heard when communicating with your partner (e.g. you should never let the someone know all your feelings, something’s are better left unsaid, etc.) you will find out soon enough the very things left to assumption or pushed down for fear of reaction or just trying to avoid the situation altogether. Unfortunately doing either of these will only compound the problem and cause further tension and discord. Many of us say over and over how much we want a relationship but not very many are really ready to put in the hard work and effort it takes to nurture the relationship.
One of the most important concepts in a good relationship is the communication between two partners. Each person should feel comfortable speaking openly and honestly to each other and without fear of retribution, rejection or lack of understanding to the feelings or views the other maybe sharing at the time. How will you ever know what is going on internally with your mate if you do not talk. You husband or wife is not only your companion but your best friend – be honest don’t you share everything with your best same sex friend? This is how it should be, if not exclusively, with your wife or husband. If in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation, you should be attempting to establish this kind of connection with one another. If there is no friendship and no communication – you will have problems (period). Thus the double-edged sword begins to rear its sharp head. You can only learn the expectations of your mate through communicating with each other. How else are you and your partner to know your morals, principles, values, wants, desires, and criteria for being in a committed relationship. I guess he/she is supposed to guess right? Or understand, completely, by your actions -ummm NO!
I have learned the importance of talking, really communicating with someone I care deeply about. I have grown in my ability to be honest about my feelings and it is extremely important each and every person in a relationship or considering entering a long-term, committed union learn very quickly how to express your feelings , your thoughts with the person whom you share your life or who you intend to share your life with. Believe and take very seriously the phrase, “Closed mouths don’t get feed,” – this is a very true statement. Speaking from experience, a closed heart will only get broken dreams and loneliness…open up your heart and let the words flow from your lips to her/his ears. Hopefully, you will gain knowledge and wisdom to improve your union. Listen to the words of the song I included – men and women can make a healthy relationship impossible….just talk to each other….
Until the next time, add this ingredient to the bowl of decisions for your life and stay In the Mix with Ms. Nix!